17 March 2012

This day might be a normal Saturday for other people, but it is not a normal for me. It is a good day that Jesus give to me.

That day, we had a sermon session like usual at church. But our Pastor Jonathan and our church Praise & Worship team went to Manjung for some performance. The wife of our Pastor took over the sermon session that time.

Our sermon session start at 7.30pm. As usual we sing songs and dance and after that only sit down sit down and listen to the session. I remember that time during the singing session, i pray to God that I believe HIM will guide me to another new love relationship that will come into my life next, I believe that HE will bless me a guy that HE want me to be with.

During the sermon session, Pastor wife- Wei Yi jie told us about one story.

She said " Once upon a time, there was a girl who have lots of boyfriends in her life. She always change her boyfriend after one month or weeks. But one day, she finally find a guy who she really love. She really just want to be with him and decide not to play around with other guys. But God tell her that, he is not the guy who God want her to be. God tell her that HE will take the guy away from her life because they are not meant to be. God tell her that she must let the guy go. This girl feel so painful. She really can;t just let the guy go because she love him so much. But at the end, she choose to let him go and always keep pray to God. After few years, God bless her a guy who really love and worship Jesus. Both of them get married and keep praise and worship Jesus everyday."

After I heard about this story,I felt like why this story sounds familiar to me. It's just like my past story. Because I really have one guy that I love so much at the past but our ending is a tragedy.

Pastor Wife continue said this " God tell the girl to let go of the guy who she really love is because to let her understand that not to depend on guys love to live your life. You must depends on God's love, then only you will get the real peace. God take away the people you love from you for reason. God give you the pains in your life for reasons. If after all this, you still thanks to God and never give up on God, HE surely will bless you and guide you go through all the pain."

After hearing all this, I smiled to myself. Because I know that, the prayers that I told to GOD earlier ago, God already answered me. He really really answered me. From this story I know that why my past relationship end up like this, end up that he left me for another girl. Now I know that, it's God's plan. HE plan this for reason. God want me to come near to HIM and keep praying.

My heart breaks once at the past, My relationship gone at the past, but all this lead me go near to GOD. God save me, heal me and guide me go through the pains. I never blame to God for whatever happened. Even the past story ending was not good, but now to me the ending are extremely good.

Yea, Gurmit left me and be with another girl. Yea, I am sad and hurt for what he had done to me. He left me but God came into my life at the same time, before Gurmit say break up with me, God already came into my life. And I became Jesus daughter. Who said this ending is not good? Who said this ending is sad?

And God also already answered me that HE will bless me another relationship that coming in my life. I heard this during this sermon session.

Jesus, thanks to you. You are my Heaven Father. My life have two father who love me, support me and always be my side all the time. One is Jesus, My Heaven Father, another one is my Daddy Lim Tong Huat. No matter how bad condition am I, both of you still love me and accept me for who I am. Really thanks for the love of Jesus and my daddy. I feel so touch and happy.

Jesus, thanks to your love. I am so sorry for whatever I have done in my life that breaks your heart. Thanks for your forgiveness. I just feel like hugging you right now and tell you that " Thank You Jesus for the answered prayer"

I really want to hug you like the picture above and just cry on your shoulder. Thanks for bless me a best family into my life. Thanks for your guide, JESUS. I LOVE YOU, HEAVEN FATHER. MY SAVIOR. <3 <3 <3

One Encounter God Camp @ Peace Heaven Genting Highlands (2nd March 2012- 4th March 2012)

2nd April 2011, 4th September 2011, 24th September 2011 and 3rd March 2012 is the most memorable day for me.

I went for One Encounter Camp at Peace Heaven Genting Highlands at 2nd March. It is a three days two nights camp. This camp is for all of us relax and encounter our Jesus papa.

First night we didn't do anything much, just check in and rest. The second day morning we had breakfast and started to pray, After that we played station games. The games all are very challenging and enjoyable =)

At night is the most enjoyment time. We have second prayer session. This time, I really heard what Dear Lord told me, he deeply touched into my heart. That feeling is so so good. All of us was crying so badly. We all hope that GOD can heal our heart for the past memories and past scar that hard for us to forgive and forget.

I was also crying, my mind just keep flashing back the past relationship memories that I had with Gurmit. The more I flashed back, the more I cried. All my tears came out. All the time i taught I already let go, but when I was at the camp, I realised that I haven't forget even though i ady forgive him.

This memories and scar still with me, and I was scared to face another relationship that will come to me. Cause I will wonder what will happened if I fall in love again? Will I be hurt like past relationship? Will I strong enough to face all the problems? All this question always in my mind and heart all the time.

When the Pastor Jonathan said " those who have the scars in their heart and hard to forgive and release, please come in front, We will pray for you with the name of Jesus, Jesus will heal you" , I know this is the right time for me to seek for GOD for healing.

I am just a human, I don't have power to erase all the pain. But with GOD, HE can heal me, I deeply believe in Jesus. I went in front of the stage and bow down with those sis and bro who came in front also. Everyone of us have our own pain memories, and we all cried.

All the seniors pray for everyone. My leader - Rachel Ong Zu Yin, she came and hug me. I just remembered when she hug me, I kept crying so loud and my tears already make her clothes wet, but we still hugging each other. She asked me to stay until the senior come and pray for me. I keep staying there, crying crying and crying because that time I alreday started to dig out all the pain memories, keep flashing back the past love relationship.

Until Mr Jackson came and pray for me. He asked about my problem and I told him. He put his hand on my head and pray for me.

He wanted me to say this " Lord, Kelly come in front of you to seek forgiveness from you. Please bare my mistake from the past, please heal my heart, please help me release the pain in my mind and heart. Lord, with the name of YOU, I will forgive the people who hurt me, I will let go the past love relationship and I will keep pray for Gurmit and may GOD always bless him"

When I heard this, I refused to say this. I was trying to fight against with my mind and heart. My heart said forget and let go, but I refused to let go. It is like a war in myself. Mr Jackson hold me tightly and asked me to say the word above. He told me, JESUS will listen to your word and HE will guide you to release the pain. He told me I have to say it if i really want to have a new life.

After Mr Jackson talked to me, I no more against. I speak out loudly the words. After the moment I say finished, I shouted loudly. I shouted loudly because I was release the pain out from my mind and heart.

Everyone also shouted loudly.

After that I stand up and go back to my place, that time I saw Grace, she also crying. She saw me and came to hug me. That time I feel so relief after shouting and crying in front of the stage.

It;s not easy for me to let go everything as I really love him and hard to forgive him. When I tried to release in front of the stage, I feel so painful, it's like someone using knife to stab me. It's so hard for me to dig out the pain that hide deeply in my heart.

I already firgive him long time ago, now I have to learn how to forget.

When Mr Jackson bless me with this words " May Jesus hear kelly prayer, and may Jesus guide her for healing and forgiveness. May Jesus bless her for the next love relationship that will come to her, AMEN!" I cried again, because all this while I really got pray, pray that one day Jesus will bless me a right guy that Jesus want me to be with.

That night, I can feel that Jesus tell me that " Dear, I will guide you and you will forget the past. I will bless you for the next relationship but first thing I want to let go the past and forgive the past.

I really heard this word, this word is what JESUS want me to hear. HE want me to release all the pain and memories. I am the new Kelly with no past.

And i was shocked that I can say the words that bless Gurmit. All thanks to JESUS for guiding me.

That night is 3rd March 2012, is the day where i release the pain.

2nd April 2011 - is the day where I accept Jesus as my Savior in my life.(start in a relationship with JESUS)

4th September 2011 - is the day where i register my name for baptism. (Engage with Jesus).

24th September 2011 - My Baptism Day ( Married to Jesus, my wedding day )

3rd March 2012 - The day Jesus help me to release my painess and guide me for forgiveness.


JESUS, thank you for your love and care all the time. I belongs to YOU forever. May YOU bless me always =)

Still got one month will be our 1st year anniversary, I will celebrate together with YOU. Really happy to have YOU in my life, JESUS. =) <3 <3

One day @ Early Step Care Centre

I went to Grace house overnight on Thursday, because Friday morning I will go to her workplace there to help her teach some down syndrome kids.

When I reached there together with her, all her colleague welcome me with their friendly character. Mostly of them are girls, some of them are guys. They came and talked to me and guide me how to teach the kids.

Some of the kids there are hyperactive case, some of theme are brain damage, low self esteem, down syndrome. Their parents send them to this Early Step Care Center to let the professional teacher teach them learn how to be independent and so on.

Some of the kids are very smart. Especially two small girls, Mun Shi Qing and Ng Shi Wei. Their english skills very good and have good social skills.

The kids all was so cute. some of them are naughty, like to run here and there.

After teaching them, I felt something in my heart.

I have seen Grace are a very strong girl. She is just a normal girl, but in her heart full of love towards everyone. She is just 20, and haven't complete her PMR exam. And she came out work and support her family in young age around 15.

Her life maybe hard, but I had never see her complain about her life once. She is so happy and always smile. I had learned so many things through her life.

I just know her last year around June at church, We are in the same group. And within two months, both of us become very good friends, Sometimes we call each other girlfriend and boyfriend hehe. Cause we really understand each other very well.

when i first come to church, I am not so socialize with everyone, I was bit quiet and only talk to people that I know. But when Grace come to church around June last year, her character influence me. She is very friendly and interact with everyone.

Until now I become so friendly and talk to everyone is all because of her.

One thing I learned from her is no matter how hard our life will be, we have to be strong to go with it, cuz it is a challenge for us =))

I really happy when I went and teach the down syndrome kids. Even though their learning skills are very slow, but they are the special kids that GOD send them to this world. They also need care and love. They are so adorable <3 <3